Amateur Night at the Strip Show
Should the gentle reader not know what a striptease is, it is an erotic or exotic dance in which the performer gradually undresses, either partly or completely, in a seductive and sexually suggestive manner.
One of the earliest strip tease artists was Salome (cAD 14 – cAD 62). She was the daughter of Herodias and information about her can be found in the New Testament – in both the Gospels Matthew and Mark. For her strip tease dance before Herod, her step-father, she asked for and received the head of John the Baptist. Her dance is referred to as the “dance of the seven veils” – all which were shed. She has been immortalized in the doggeral verse:
Salome was a dancer, and she danced the hootchie kootch.
She danced before the king and didn’t wear too mooch.
“Stop” cried the king “or we’ll have a scandal here”
“The hell we won’t!” Salome said and kicked the chandelier.
Moving to the modern times, I remember hearing about the stripper, “Evelyn West with her treasure chest,” when she visited the University of Oklahoma. As a publicity stunt, she presented herself to the infirmary to have her chest x-rayed. For lack of valid student identification, she was refused entrance and the student newspaper gave her the publicity that she wanted. Evelyn was best known for her large (39½ inch) bustline. She was reported to have insured her breasts for $50,000 through Lloyd’s of London.
Another famous stripper that I heard about was “Tessie the Tassel Twirler.” She was famous for having upholstery tassels attached to her brassier over the nipples. She could twirl the tassels in different directions at the same time.
As a teenager, this talk among friends was very titillating, but very innocent.
One summer night when I was in my mid-twenties, my friend Guy Phillips and I decided to take our dates to Denver, Colorado (from Boulder) for an amateur night at the strip show. I’m sure that this was not my idea; however, I was a willing follower, and our dates were also willing.
Why was I surprised that the strip club was in one of Denver’s seediest sections? Upon entering the club, it took a minute or two to adjust to the dim lights – and to the cigarette smoke. Should anyone had said “boo” to us we would probably have run. However, we sat down at a table, ordered drinks, and timidly waited for the show.
Probably the most famous music for stripping is David Rose’s The Stripper; however, almost any slow lugubrious music should be fine. The William Tell Overture is probably not quite right since it wouldn’t allow much time for required sensuous moves.
In describing the dance itself, the difficulty is that anything (and most everything) goes. To oversimplify, I will divide the dance into two segments – the “bump” and the “grind.” The bump consists of moving, usually violently, the bum off center in any direction, with a jerk. The bigger the bum, the bigger the jerk. I consider that the grind is the most important for it gives the artist a great deal of leeway in sensuous creativity and lasts as long as the artist wishes.
Most of the time my date kept her face covered with her fingers, using them very much like venetian blinds.
Blaze was the last act of the evening, and for an amateur, seemed to have great potential. The audience loved her creative, sensual, sexual movements coupled with her ample proportions – all in the correct places.
Toward the end of her performance, she reached for the zipper in the back of the full-length flimsy skirt. It covered her from waist to the floor. The zipper was stuck in the flimsy. After several gentle pulls, she combined a major “bump” with a “grind” of supreme effort. Losing the beat, and with great effort, she yanked at the zipper in the back. It ripped open, tearing the flimsy skirt beyond repair. By this time my date had opened her venetian blinds to see better. She dropped the blinds totally upon hearing the tear.
To great applause, whistles and catcalls, the skirt descended toward the floor but at the last minute, Blaze, in a glorious creative movement, caught it with the toe of her stiletto-heeled shoe and tossed it high into the air.
It slowly descended to the floor – tattered and torn – having nobly carried out its duties of covering the tiniest of G-strings.
